After discussing your wishes and ideas, and then having a financial reality check, you and your fiance have decided on a small, simple wedding. When you share these thoughts with your parents and his, reminders fly in from every direction not to forget or exclude Great-Aunt Dot, Second- Cousin Emily, or your dad’s co-worker, Fred. As time goes on, your wedding is growing, and growing, and has morphed into a giant that threatens to push you to the brink of insanity and financial ruin.

There are several things you can do, in addition to throwing your hands up and giving over control to someone else, this is YOUR wedding, after all. The first thing you can do is move up the time of the wedding. If you were planning an evening ceremony, usually a dinner reception follows. By moving the time of the ceremony up to, say, three o’clock in the afternoon, you may now serve a buffet with hot and cold hors d’oeuvres and finger sandwiches, saving quite a bit of money on the food, and the number of servers required. You may find this plan a winner in another way, as well. Instead of your reception running very late into the night, it will allow for an earlier exit for you and your new husband, so you may enjoy the rest of the evening without succumbing to total exhaustion.

When you are planning the decorations for your ceremony and reception, think of all your friends and family, and what they have that you can borrow. Hit them all up for potted plants and trees, and use them to create a garden atmosphere. Place three or so pots together, and wrap the pots as one with sale priced fabric. Then place white string lights around the fabric, cover with tulle, and, voila! you have created a dreamy, romantic mood.

If you decide on a garden type theme, don’t be afraid to use containers like teapots, watering cans, buckets, or a collection of different vases to hold your flowers. Or, you can make a candle garden for each centerpiece, adding petals, rocks, or leaves round the outside. Often, the centerpiece containers can also be borrowed, or purchased from thrift stores, dollar stores, or yard sales, and can add an eclectic charm to your decor. The more you can do yourself, the more money you can save. The more money you save, the easier it is to deal with the wedding that has suddenly taken on a life of it’s own.

Favors are often overpriced, and often forgotten. All the expense and work, and they are left on the table! Why not make your favors? You can make candies, or soaps with molds that you can purchase at craft stores. Soaps are especially good, because if your guests forget them, you can always put them out in a small basket in your guest bathroom. Or, to go along with your garden theme, you can make your own paper envelopes, and add wildflower seeds (purchased in bulk), and add a poem about your wishes to nurture a ‘growing relationship’ with all your family and friends.

Many other options are available to couples willing to get crafty, and take on projects themselves. Don’t let your wedding stress you out, instead, think of it as the first challenge of your new life together. Use your planning time to create a bond with the two of you working toward a common goal, a beautiful wedding, and avoiding bankruptcy. Have fun, and be sure to take plenty of pictures of your creation.