Everyone knows you are engaged, and wow, all your friends are asking about your upcoming wedding. A few are hinting, or coming right out and asking if they will be in the wedding. Now the stress begins. They are your friends. You like hanging out with them. But before you rush out and invite every girl you know to be a bridesmaid, reign in your enthusiasm, and do some hard thinking about several things.
How large is the wedding you are planning? If you have seven close girlfriends, and you like symetry, does your fiance have seven friends that he can ask to be groomsman? What if you have seven friends AND you have sisters or cousins to include? Does your wedding seem to be taking on huge proportions and unmanagable crowds of people?
Stop, and consider a few things before asking people to be bridesmaids or groomsmen. Are they really good, close friends? Can they afford the clothing or travel expenses that may be required? Do they cause friction or start arguments? Can they get along between themselves without jealousy and upstaging? Are they supportive of you in most everything you do? Are they helpful, or bossy and domineering?
Remember, this is your wedding. You should pick the styles, colors, flowers, and decorations because you and your fiance love them, not because your friend from high school or college thinks she looks great in peach. It’s not about them, it’s about you. One of the most unselfish things a girl can do for her friend, is to wear a bridesmaid’s dress that she doesn’t like. On the other hand, one of the most thoughtful and unselfish things you can do for your attendants, is to choose a flattering, reasonably priced gown or dress that they could wear again.
The question of how many bridesmaids has been an uncomfortable and vexing problem for many brides. A large , very formal wedding can have many attendants and still look appropriate. On the flip side, a small back yard wedding and barbeque looks a little silly with ten or twelve bridesmaids and the same number of groomsmen.
After deciding how many attendants would be right for your wedding style, ask your very closest friends or relatives to be your bridesmaids, then ask the others to be a part of your wedding in other capacities. Your cousin with the beautiful voice could sing a song during the ceremony. Your friend who plays guitar or piano could play during the ceremony or reception. Someone could do a reading of your favorite poem. There are also other things you could ask of them, lighting candles, handling the sign in book, arranging your train before you walk down the aisle, decorating the church or reception site for you, greeting guests and giving out favors, cutting and serving wedding cake, contributing their famous food dish (if you are doing the food yourselves), or other things that may pertain to your wedding plans. This way, they are still participating in your wedding, but the number of attendants is remaining managable and acceptable.
Most people think of creativity having to do with artistic talents, music, or writing abilities. Sometimes creativity can have more to do with thinking outside the box to solve problems and find solutions that work for everyone involved. Coming up with a workable plan to include all of the people important to you and your fiance will, in the end, reduce your stress, and help make your wedding especially beautiful and memorable for everyone.
