Congratulations! You’re engaged, excited, ecstatic, and a little overwhelmed. Think of planning your wedding like driving a car. Before you take the car out the first time, you would get a little advice, maybe some guidance from someone with a little more experience. Just as you would want your driving instructor to be patient and have your best interests at heart, those you choose to help with your planning should also be concentrating on YOUR wedding, and your ideas. Jeaousy, upstaging, and domination have no place in wedding planning, it will only add to stress and frustration for you. Just like driving, you can’t have five people driving at the same time. You have to maitain control of your planning.

In almost every bridal magazine, you will find checklists and guides for everything you should do before your wedding. It can all be a little frightening, but keep in mind, those are just guides. The timelines are suggestions. You may not even be using ’save the date’ cards. You may have a shorter engagement, or a far more casual event, and you may skip several of the listed items. It’s ok. Weddings should be a cross between honoring wedding traditions or cultural heritage and Burger King (having it your way). Your wedding and reception should reflect who you and your fiance are, your personalities, interests and hobbies, passions or careers.

Many of the planning materials suggest the first order of business (after setting the date, of course) is choosing a location for both the ceremony and reception. If you’re thinking of a very popular venue, or popular months, like June or December, that may be true, however, choosing your wedding gown should be right up there in the firsts as well. Your gown will set the tone for your entire ceremony and reception.

Often what happens, is you think you have in mind what you want, and then WOW!, you try on something completely different, and you are totally blown away by it. You cry, mom or your best friend cries, and you know it’s your dress. The problem is, the quiet little sheath style with no train that you wanted, has now been replaced by a full skirted, beaded gown with a chapel length train. That may result in you making some changes to your ideas for your ceremony and reception locations.

Here are some tips that can help you have a pleasant experience when you begin looking for your gown. Inquire if appointments are required or suggested, and make the appropriate arrangements. Too many differing opinions can be confusing and frustrating for you, choose one or two people to accompany you, whose opinions you value and trust.  Wear as little make up, pefume, and jewelry as possible. These things damage gowns, and your bridal shop will appreciate you being careful with their merchandise. If you have children, ask a friend or relative to keep them for you while you shop for your gown. It is hard for you and for your sales consultant to concentrate on your needs while chasing little ones. Wear appropriate under garments, a sports bra completely changes the fit of a gown. When trying gowns on, you want to see them at their best possible presentation, so that you don’t rule out a fabulous dress just because the fit of the bust wasn’t flattering.

Don’t be afraid to purchase a dress on your first shopping venture. You would be amazed at how many brides find the dress of their dreams right away. When you and your consultant determine the style that’s right for you, it’s just a matter of necklines, embellishment, and fabric. When you narrow that down, it’s quite possible that on your fist visit, you will put on a dress and just know ‘it’s the one’. Much like you knew your fiance was ‘the one’. If you do everything you can to make the planning so smoothly, it can be an enjoyable ride for you and your fiance, as well as your family and friends. Whether you need to be on the expressway, or you have time to take the scenic route, just remember to relax and take in some of the fun and memorable sights along the way.